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Leverage Fic: Texts From This Morning

TITLE: "Texts From This Morning"
SUMMARY: A series of texts between Eliot and the team the morning after "The Carnival Job"
RATING: PG-13 (for language)
SPOILERS: One very mild spoiler for "The Carnival Job"
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for comment_fic. The theme was messages and lmx_v3point3 prompted Eliot + team, "I'm not coming in today, so don't even try it." Special thanks to seraphina_snape for making the wonderful banner!

9:08 AM, the morning after the carnival job ...

Nate Ford: New client. Briefing at noon.

     Eliot Spencer: Not comin in to work, boss. In case you forgot, I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE.

Nate Ford: You want to be here for this one. Trust me.

     Eliot Spencer: I have a CONCUSSION. I’m not coming in today, so don’t even try it.

Nate Ford: You’ll be here.

     Eliot Spencer: Not happening.

Nate Ford: Want to bet on it?

     Eliot Spencer: Screw you. I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE.

Nate Ford: Fifty bucks says you’re here at noon.

     Eliot Spencer: Leave me alone. I’m goin back to bed.

Alec Hardison: Can u pick up sum gummi frogs b4 the mtg? Nate’s all out.

     Eliot Spencer: Not comin. Get your own damn gummi frogs.

Alec Hardison: Y not???

     Eliot Spencer: Because I got hit in the face with a carnival ride yesterday!

Alec Hardison: Nate sez ur coming.

     Eliot Spencer: Fuck Nate.

Alec Hardison: But we gotta nu client ...

     Eliot Spencer: NO.

Alec Hardison: ... & she’s a total HOTTIE!!!

     Eliot Spencer: NO.

     Eliot Spencer: How hot?

     Eliot Spencer: Nevermind.

Alec Hardison: Like a Vegas sidewalk in August.

     Eliot Spencer: Still no.

Alec Hardison: Ur loss, man. I’m just sayin.

Alec Hardison: Srsly damn HOT!

Parker: nate says your a wuss

     Eliot Spencer: Whatever.

Parker: so does hardison

     Eliot Spencer: Tell him I’m gonna tickle his ass when I’m healed.

Parker: um ... ok?

     Eliot Spencer: KICK his ass! Damn autocorrect! I’m gonna kick his ass!

Parker: oh yeah that makes more sense

Parker: i don’t think your a wuss btw

     Eliot Spencer: Thank you!

Parker: i think your lazy

     Eliot Spencer: I’M NOT LAZY!!

Parker: then why arent you coming in?

     Eliot Spencer: Does nobody remember yesterday? I GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A CARNIVAL RIDE!!!

Parker: wuss

Parker: bring cereal when you come ok?

Parker: ok?

Parker: eliot?

Sophie Devereaux: Nate said you’re not coming to the briefing?

     Eliot Spencer: Don’t start with me.

Sophie Devereaux: I just wanted to make sure you’re all right. How are you feeling?

     Eliot Spencer: Like I got hit in the face with a carnival ride.

Sophie Devereaux: Poor thing. You should rest.

     Eliot Spencer: Thank you!

Sophie Devereaux: There’s no need for you to trouble yourself.

     Eliot Spencer: I wasn’t goin to.

Sophie Devereaux: I’m sure we can handle this one without you.

     Eliot Spencer: Good.

Sophie Devereaux: I honestly wonder why we waste your time bringing you in on half the jobs we do. It’s not like you’re really an essential part of the team. Not like the rest of us.

     Eliot Spencer: I know what you’re doing and its not gonna work.

Sophie Devereaux: It’s only a Mexican drug cartel we’re going up against on this job after all. It’s not like there’s a chance Nate will lose his head and put us all in grave danger.

     Eliot Spencer: Stop it.

Sophie Devereaux: And there’s certainly no possibility Hardison will get cocky or Parker will go rogue without you there to keep them in line.

     Eliot Spencer: Shut up. I mean it.

Sophie Devereaux: And I can obviously take out any cartel hitmen we might stumble across all on my own. So you just go and have a nice lie down and don’t trouble yourself about us. We’ll all be fine without you.

     Eliot Spencer: I hate you.

Sophie Devereaux: See you at noon then?

     Eliot Spencer: Yes dammit.

Sophie Devereaux: Nate says not to forget his $50.

Sophie Devereaux: And Parker’s cereal.

Sophie Devereaux: Oh, and Hardison’s gummi frogs.

     Eliot Spencer: I hate you all.

Sophie Devereaux: <3 <3 <3



( 43 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:01 am (UTC)
Love. I managed to catch the last fifteen mins of the episode, exactly where Eliot got hit in the face with a carnival ride. I thought of you and I missed you.
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:48 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks hon! Yet another TV show I've dragged you into.
(no subject) - hannasus - Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - austin360 - Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hannasus - Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hannasus - Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - austin360 - Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:52 am (UTC)


I love how they each try to get them there, and Nate's smug confidence of, "You'll be here." And how Hardison hits him with the hot girl, Parker attempts to call him a not a wuss/lazy, and Sophie plays him like a fiddle. HEE! And I love that she would text hearts to him. :P

Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! It makes me happy you enjoyed it!
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:59 am (UTC)
Bwah! Sophie is the queen. Awesome. :D
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And thanks for reading!
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:16 am (UTC)

AHAHAHAHA, this is fantastic!!! Poor Eliot; so much shamelessly blatant manipulation--no wonder he's so grumpy all the time. :) Also, Sophie not only wins, she gloats about it. I have no words for how awesome that is. Seriously, you win. :)

Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:29 am (UTC)
Is ur icon from Ratatouille? It's...distractingly adorable.
(no subject) - postitnotejunky - Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:40 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mystizan - Aug. 2nd, 2011 04:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hannasus - Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:28 am (UTC)
This was so nice I had to read it twice! Oh E! They pwn u & u know it. 'tis ok: u pwn them too. SOPHIE RULES.
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
Ha! The autocorrect gag was hilarious.
Aug. 2nd, 2011 04:13 am (UTC)
Which ep is ur icon from?
(no subject) - celtic_flicka - Aug. 2nd, 2011 04:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mystizan - Aug. 2nd, 2011 05:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - hannasus - Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
I love the Leverage fandom for fics like this! I used to read only super long fic, but this fandom has certainly taught me how amazingly awesome compact and concise fic can be when written well.

This fic was written superbly. I heard each of their voices so clearly and broke into fits of laughter along the way. Thanks for the great read!
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

I usually only write really long fics, so this is a departure for me. In fact, it's the shortest fic I've ever posted. Usually everything I write is in the vicinity of 10,000 words.
Aug. 2nd, 2011 11:49 am (UTC)
Hee! Oh, how I heart my team.
Aug. 2nd, 2011 02:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoyed it!
Aug. 2nd, 2011 09:05 pm (UTC)
I seriously love this. Very much.

And I can obviously take out any cartel hitmen we might stumble across all on my own. I mean, obviously, Sophie's just that bad ass.

I also loved that you gave each person their own unique way of texting.
Aug. 4th, 2011 09:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Hardison's style was a no-brainer. I modeled Eliot after Christian Kane's Twitter updates (with lots of all-caps yelling for extra Eliot flavor), then figured Nate and Sophie would both be literate and text the way they talk, and Parker wouldn't have a lot of patience for grammar and punctuation. You wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to write her part with the wrong "your"s!
(no subject) - foreverwriting9 - Aug. 5th, 2011 02:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 8th, 2011 12:14 am (UTC)
I giggled so much over this, it's not even possible :D Sophie's last text was pure win!
Aug. 8th, 2011 12:33 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Aug. 12th, 2011 01:21 pm (UTC)
I loved it!

Very cute!

Whether he admits it or not, the women of Leverage have Eliot wrapped around their little fingers!

Aug. 12th, 2011 07:00 pm (UTC)
They really do, don't they? Thanks for reading!
Aug. 12th, 2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
Utterly hilarious. ^^
Aug. 16th, 2011 03:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!
Aug. 16th, 2011 11:13 pm (UTC)
I love you all. And you for writing this. hilarious and true and very very good.
Aug. 18th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! *smooch*
Sep. 6th, 2011 08:40 am (UTC)
Ha ha!! YES. Everything about this fic is just YES!!

Sorry, that made no sense, but you know what I mean.


Oh Eliot. Always complaining. Lol ;D
Oct. 18th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! :D
Oct. 18th, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious, and perfectly in character; I look forward to reading the rest of your Leverage fic.
Feb. 8th, 2012 04:33 pm (UTC)
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( 43 comments — Leave a comment )

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