RATING: PG-13 (for language)
SPOILERS: Set during the events of "The Boiler Room Job" so, you know, spoilers for that.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for leverageland's Dear Diary Challenge. Pure silliness. Props to Mr. Sus for helping me out with Eliot's workouts and for suggesting the ping pong line. Special thanks to sigrundora for the awesome banner!
Workout: Bag work + hill sprints x20.
New client briefing today. Nate was drunk and Hardison was annoying, blah blah blah, the usual. No one needed me to punch anyone, so I left early. Made myself coq au vin for dinner, took a bubble bath, read four chapters of A Brief History of Time. Not a bad day.
Bad guys fought: 0.
Injuries sustained: Paper cut.
Hair: Frizzy. Wore a knit cap to hide it. Note to self: try John Frieda Frizz-Ease hairspray per Sophie’s recommendation.
Workout: Squats (315x10x3), power cleans (250x3x5), bench (275x5x3).
I think Parker tried to lick me today. WTF? Had to dress up as a janitor for the con again. Managed to look rugged and manly, despite ugly glasses and coveralls. Ended up standing around bored most of the day, hoping someone would need punching. Almost thought I was gonna get to rip a guy’s lungs out, but Nate wouldn’t let me. Typical. Bright side: only wanted to choke Hardison twice. Made myself boeuf bourguignon for dinner, took a bubble bath, finished A Brief History of Time.
Bad guys fought: 0. Disappointing.
Hair: Hat head from janitor’s cap. Not my best look.
Workout: Jump rope + hill sprints x20.
Flew to Ecuador. Read all of In Search of Lost Time on the plane. Bought a machete. Hooked up with a hot Ecuadoran chick I met at the hotel bar. Muy caliente!
Bad guys fought: 0 (the hot chick’s brother was giving me the stink-eye for a while, but it didn’t pan out).
Injuries sustained: Scratches up and down my back. Hell yeah!
Hair: Pretty awesome. That John Frieda shit really works.
Workout: Shadow boxing + burpees x100.
Trekked through the rainforest dressed as Indiana Jones and looked awesome doing it. The mark would not fucking shut up about sharks, though. Someone watches way too much Discovery. Ate a still-beating snake heart (tasted like chicken, btw). Seriously, Sophie gets to eat chocolate for the con and I’m eating a snake heart? Fuck my life. Bright side: hooked up with hot chick’s even hotter sister.
Bad guys fought: 1 if you count the snake.
Injuries sustained: Misc. mosquito bites.
Hair: It was a fucking rainforest, so frizzy as hell despite new hairspray. Rocked it in my fedora, though.
Workout: 10 mile run.
Flight didn’t leave until the afternoon, so I decided to depose a corrupt cabinet minister to pass the time. Arranged for him to be unseated by a political scandal, then fomented democracy among some agrarian laborers just for kicks. Both hot sisters cried at the airport when I left. Read Kafka on the Shore on the plane ride home. Good day.
Bad guys fought: 0. Ecuadorians are oddly non-confrontational.
Hair: Wore the fedora again. Just because.
Workout: Squats (315x10x3), press (185x5x3), deadlift (405x5).
Hardison hugged me this morning when I got in. Pretended not to like it. Later, caught Parker trying to lick me again. Is she hitting on me? Finished up the con and took the mark down. Swindled him out all his money, gift-wrapped him for the FBI, blah, blah, blah, the usual. Disconcerting shortage of punching involved in this con, if you ask me. Afterwards, Nate and Sophie finally admitted to everyone that they’re knocking boots. Totally called that months ago. Note to self: Hardison owes me $50. Hooked up with one of the mark’s former victims. Pretty hot, maybe an 8.
Bad guys fought: 1. About damn time!
Injuries sustained: Split lip.
Hair: Looking good.
Workout: Sparring + grappling work with some of the guys at the gym.
Bought a new flat iron per Sophie’s recommendation. Did laundry. Weeded the garden. Started reading Being and Time. Made the team seared mahi mahi with chermoula, lemon beurre blanc and white quinoa-vegetable salad for dinner. Beat Hardison at ping pong. He’s my bitch. Very good day.
Bad guys fought: 0.
Injuries sustained: Small bruise where Parker pinched me. Seriously, is she hitting on me??
Hair: Fucking fantastic. New flat iron is a godsend. Note to self: buy Sophie a present.